CUTE

To the person knitting lamp posts & park benches in Cal Anderson: I love you.

4 hung over kids review skillet

I asked my douche bag hipster friends to pick up there phones and text me with their thoughts of the joint. This is what I got:

Hipster D-Bag #1: “Sleek, “New Capitol Hill” look at the base of one of the Hill’s new ‘modern’ apartment buildings full of waiters with fresh pressed summer plaid, cute bought-in-bulk mason jars to fill with hip micro-brews, and a classic bell that goes DING when orders are up. Not a place for your classic Seattle grunge kid, but maybe a place for the emerging predominance of American Apparel hipsters. But restaurants are for the food, which looks awesome”

HDB #1 Enthusiastically took the assignment by the balls. The other two… Not so much.

HDB #2: “Skillet I think is great so far!! Our waiter made a joke and gave me a hot toddy that tastes DELISH! Nom nom can’t wait for foods!”

We get our food. We eat. The food was good but HDB #3 still finds a reason to complain. Because that’s what being a hipster D-bag is all about.

HDB #3: “Food was good. But I’m still hungry.”

I agree. The fucking burger was mini sized and was 13 bones. GTFO.

HDB #2: “Can’t go wrong with biscuits and gravy and they didn’t!!! YUMMM”

The space is pretty filled with pretty people wearing cute plaids and flannel. Its so cute I want to puke.

HDB #3: “Skillet is like the cool hip place to be right now, huh? You got the moe bar staff over there, Dan savage, that one girl from SU. I’m pretty sure I might have seen mad rad in the corner.”

The wait staff is pretty chill I must say. We hung out for awhile long after we closed out & our waiter even topped off our beers. And for that I will go back. Cheers!

Really lady?

You can’t find anywhere else to paint your fucking toe nails? Get out of our recycling receptacle, I need to toss my kombucha bottle!

Fuck your kindle!

RIP pilot books 😦

POT PARADE!!!

“Marijuana is not a drug. It’s a leaf.”
– California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Let’s slow dance

I’m not even going to try and tell you why you should be going to this. It’s a no brainer. Get dressed up. Get drunk. Slow dance and put your hand down your dates pants. This neighborhood already feels like high school, so why not a promenade?

Here are some deets:

Too punk in high school and never made it to prom? Monday May 2nd at 9pm Linda’s is putting on a prom for those who didn’t get a chance to get drunk and make bad decisions the first time around. DJs Executive Realness and Hank Rock will be playing the slow make out jams alongside the hits all night. We’ll have two photographers to capture your formal attire and intoxicated smiles as well as best-dressed awards!! (Drink Tickets! Sashes!) Cheap punch drink specials and a dance floor will set the mood. Dress to impress and you too can be voted into the prom court! Come live out your teenage fantasies at Linda’s Tavern!

Bleu Grotto

Sneak peak!

Dude inside said they are shooting for a May 20th opening.

GLITTERBANG

The last two times I found myself at the Eagle I fell in love–once with my boyfriend, the other with Glitterbang. I mean, I didn’t FALL IN LOVE with Glitterbang, but I had that feeling when I was watching them like, OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM. I was dancing like a maniac. They were on a corner of the dance floor, and sometimes the guy would play guitar and piano at the same time. I can’t remember what they looked like, but I know they were wearing cool shit on their face. I just wanted to watch them & dance there forever.

Now press play & continue onward…

Glitterbang’s “Constable.”

Nicki of Glitterbang @ Electric Tea Garden

Joey of Glitterbang @ Electric Tea Garden

Glitterbang is playing tomorrow night at the comet. Wanna get stoned & dance? Meet me outside at 9pm. All the deets you need are here:

MMMM… BURGERS

(If you didn’t read the subject line in the voice of Homer Simpson then you failed. Now go back & start all over again.)

Guys guess what? Today I actually left Capitol Hill. No, this is not a joke. Some friends dragged me away from my cozy little bubble & down to South Lake Union for some bomb ass burgers at Lunchbox Laboratory.

I’ve heard about this place forever and now I know I’ve been missin’ out. At it’s new location it’s within walking distance from the hill. I was tempted to make my own custom burger but instead ordered the ‘Homage to Dick’s Deluxe’ with sweet potato fries. DAMN, THAT SHIT WAS GOOD! I will actually be tempted to venture away from my comfort zone more often just for this place. (also partially just to stare at the massive lava lamps everywhere, NGL.)

But did you hear we are getting two more burger joints here at home?

Blue Moon Burgers comes to Bway

& Li’l Woodys too! Deets here.

But what is the best burger already on the hill?

• Dicks is perfect for your drunk walk home after the bar.
• Linda’s sliders are a classic & at a buck each at HH it’s a no brainier.
• Charlie’s big beefy guys have always sedated me in a blissful food coma.
• Uni’s In&out inspired burgers hit the spot especially topped with melted onions.

But what am I missing? What haven’t I tried? Are burgers at The Deluxe good? Should I stop hating on the fancy pants-ness of Quinns and actually go try theirs? Leave a comment and let me know because I want to overdose on BEEF & KETCHUP!!!

RIP pita pit: a haiku

Miss you in my mouth
Wish to taste you one last time
Pita orgasms