I asked my douche bag hipster friends to pick up there phones and text me with their thoughts of the joint. This is what I got:

Hipster D-Bag #1: “Sleek, “New Capitol Hill” look at the base of one of the Hill’s new ‘modern’ apartment buildings full of waiters with fresh pressed summer plaid, cute bought-in-bulk mason jars to fill with hip micro-brews, and a classic bell that goes DING when orders are up. Not a place for your classic Seattle grunge kid, but maybe a place for the emerging predominance of American Apparel hipsters. But restaurants are for the food, which looks awesome”

HDB #1 Enthusiastically took the assignment by the balls. The other two… Not so much.

HDB #2: “Skillet I think is great so far!! Our waiter made a joke and gave me a hot toddy that tastes DELISH! Nom nom can’t wait for foods!”

We get our food. We eat. The food was good but HDB #3 still finds a reason to complain. Because that’s what being a hipster D-bag is all about.

HDB #3: “Food was good. But I’m still hungry.”

I agree. The fucking burger was mini sized and was 13 bones. GTFO.

HDB #2: “Can’t go wrong with biscuits and gravy and they didn’t!!! YUMMM”

The space is pretty filled with pretty people wearing cute plaids and flannel. Its so cute I want to puke.

HDB #3: “Skillet is like the cool hip place to be right now, huh? You got the moe bar staff over there, Dan savage, that one girl from SU. I’m pretty sure I might have seen mad rad in the corner.”

The wait staff is pretty chill I must say. We hung out for awhile long after we closed out & our waiter even topped off our beers. And for that I will go back. Cheers!



April 26, 2011

(If you didn’t read the subject line in the voice of Homer Simpson then you failed. Now go back & start all over again.)

Guys guess what? Today I actually left Capitol Hill. No, this is not a joke. Some friends dragged me away from my cozy little bubble & down to South Lake Union for some bomb ass burgers at Lunchbox Laboratory.

I’ve heard about this place forever and now I know I’ve been missin’ out. At it’s new location it’s within walking distance from the hill. I was tempted to make my own custom burger but instead ordered the ‘Homage to Dick’s Deluxe’ with sweet potato fries. DAMN, THAT SHIT WAS GOOD! I will actually be tempted to venture away from my comfort zone more often just for this place. (also partially just to stare at the massive lava lamps everywhere, NGL.)

But did you hear we are getting two more burger joints here at home?

Blue Moon Burgers comes to Bway

& Li’l Woodys too! Deets here.

But what is the best burger already on the hill?

  • Dicks is perfect for your drunk walk home after the bar.
  • Linda’s sliders are a classic & at a buck each at HH it’s a no brainier.
  • Charlie’s big beefy guys have always sedated me in a blissful food coma.
  • Uni’s In&out inspired burgers hit the spot especially topped with melted onions.

But what am I missing? What haven’t I tried? Are burgers at The Deluxe good? Should I stop hating on the fancy pants-ness of Quinns and actually go try theirs? Leave a comment and let me know because I want to overdose on BEEF & KETCHUP!!!

RIP pita pit: a haiku

April 13, 2011

Miss you in my mouth
Wish to taste you one last time
Pita orgasms

I’m a Pizza Fool

April 2, 2011

From the minute I walked in the doors at QFC to grab some cups & ice for my April Fools party I heard everyone talking about free pizza. Seriously? EVERYONE! Customers to employees, employees to customers. Was I just really, really stoned? I asked my cashier “YO! WHERE DA PIZZA AT, BITCH???” and she told me that a new pizza joint, MOD was having a grand opening a few blocks down, giving away FREE personalized size pizzas to everyone.


So I walked my ass down to this place thinking in my head “Is this an April fools joke? Am I totally gonna feel embarrassed after this?” So Obvi the only thing to do was to fuckin’ google that shit!
And dude, it was totes true. Fuck yeah!! Walking in, mouth watering, so excited for pizza…a stoner’s wet dream. I’m a firm believer that NOTHING tastes better than FREE.

This is where the story gets real sad. They stopped serving free pizza at 9:00pm. It was FUCKING 9:02pm. I overheard a bunch of U-DUB frat boys bragging about getting the last of the free pizza. I was heartbroken but I decided I had gone too far and would pay for a slice anyhow.

MOD kicked me while I was down. No slices. I wasn’t committed to a $6.50 mini pie, and the greeter employees tried to heckle me on my way out saying that I’d pay too much for slices at Pagliacci’s. Walking home defeated in the rain I thought “FUCK THAT! IM GOING TO PAG’S FOR PIZZA!”

Just walking in I felt at home. I immediately felt like I cheated on the one I loved. How could I run to the cheap new whore on the block? Pag’s has been so good to me for years. Gretta, my favorite employee @ the BWay local (who has made every visit in the past few months so much more fun) was there to give me my desired slizzice. It was cozy, it was delish, and it was only 4 bones for two slices. That’s okay with me!

So I can’t say if MOD pizza is good or bad. I can say that I like what I like and I like pagliacci’s. I’ve made up my mind and I will forever stand by my special P-A-G.

seattle cannabis journal

March 8, 2011

in a world map of stereotypes we are known as the stoners, and you know what? i’ll take it. compared to the rest at least. maybe not for everyone but just take a walk through cal anderson on a sunny summer day and you’ll smell it. they’re plenty of us out there. and now if you want to dive deeper into the in’s & out’s of medical marijuana check out the seattle cannabis journal. in their own words:

Seattle Cannabis Journal discusses all things Cannabis and culture in the city of Seattle. Our focus includes medicinal use, reviews and recommendations, photos, and essays concerning all forms of Cannabis ingestion for medical purposes.

like did you know that last month they held the first cannabis farmers market? pretty fucking cool if you ask me. SCJ’s review of the market navigates you through the different strains, edibles, and tinctures that the many medical marijuana vendors provide. more dates have been added for the market to pop back up at the little red bistro down on dexter & harrison.

anyway, its fat tuesday! how about we go get stoned, head down to captain blacks for the mardi gras edition of chicken & waffles tuesdays! my mouth is already watering.

the pizza diet

February 28, 2011

apparently i got shit for genes.

it has officially been claimed that

one employee of Big Mario’s Pizza

has shockingly LOST weight

since the bar’s opening last july.





everyone knows pizza makes you fat. and Big Mario’s is a friggin’ pizza lunch buffet just like the one you ate at the mall on saturday in seventh grade. she is defying science. she must be jesus.

you fucking bitch. ugh.


free fry friday!

August 19, 2010

everything tastes even better when its free.
thanks fish fry!

Let colton fly!

August 8, 2010

Genki sushi

July 22, 2010

I wasn’t even aware this place existed but oh man am I glad it’s here. Conveyer belt sushi arrives to the hill on bway and pine right next to blix. With $1.00, $1.50, and $2.00 plates this place is the frugal hipsters paradise. There is something really exuberating about the ability to impulsivly grab food floating by your head. The r&b playing in the background is perfect. I don’t know about you but i love eating sushi while listening to mariah, Aaliyah, and beyonce. It’s fast and it’s cheap so go stop by when you have a minute.

here are some photos of the new big marrio’s we took for straight crushing‘s (our new blog bffs) review of the opening night. check out the pics and his thoughts on the new joint.

The Godsend that is Big Mario’s (located between 11th & 10th on Pike) opened last night. I went with the full intention of taking notes, trying the well liquors, & sampling all of the delicious pies they had available. That is when things went wrong.

To be fair I did get through  2 slices. For $3.75, I started off with the potato (thinly sliced) & garlic (whole cloves) which satisfied every drunken Irish craving I was struck with. Savory, hot, & in herculean portions, I was pleased. I’ve never been one to fold my pizzas in half (if I wanted a calzone I would’ve ordered one) but it proved almost impossible to handle these serving sizes with dignity. Its hard not to love 18″ pies cut into 6 slices. Its enormous. Enormous.

When the Rainer tallboy & whiskey shot started rumbling I moved on to the cheese ($2.75), just to test the old standby (I found it hard to deny myself, you can put the food order on your bar tab & they have some table service). It was everything I was looking for in my state. And rest assured (dear reader) it will be everything you are looking for Thurs-Sat when their street side window service open until 4AM (2AM otherwise). Maybe Seattle is becoming a real-life big city. 4AM. This is a good thing (I’m looking at you Mr. McGinn).

read more here…