it’s embarrassing to admit, but i’ll do it anyways:  i forget how talented some of the friends/people/strangers we live amongst truly are. i forget that the same people waiting for their latte behind me at Stumptown or gettin’ their Tecates pulled at last call are also creating so passionately, so solidly, very impressive art in any form. i hate that i forget this. slap me!

what jogged my memory this time is The Stranger sponsored local fashion show Worn Out happening tonight. most of these (young) insanely talented designers are hill faces you see everyday. they balance bomb fashion ideas with living day to day on the hill just like all of us but, perhaps most remarkable to me, THEY KNOW HOW TO SEW. i seriously can’t even fix a button. ugh.

i was asked to help out two friends featured in the show and i’m just hoping I don’t fall on my fucking face and ruin everything. because that’s what i do. (sorry chris jones and ramona barnes in advance-you guys are too cool to be friends with me). ALAS, i am very, very excited for the both of them.

the show is sold out, so you can’t go, but check out what these badasses are up to when they’re not out just like the rest of us. you can always stand outside the ACT theater and show your boobs for some tickets? maybe?

cheers designers. looks like it’s going to be a good one.



just sayin’

April 5, 2011

APRIL shitshows bring MAnY reflections.

Lost bird?

April 4, 2011

Can someone please explain this to me?


So I don’t know shit about domesticated birds, but wouldn’t this thing just fly the fuck away? And If I’m gonna be chasing this little shit head around I think I deserve more then just 75 bucks. Come on, what if I gotta climb a tree, roof, or where the fuck ever birds hang out?

The sign informs us that the birds name is “Bird.” REALLY? You couldn’t come up with a better fucking name then Bird? Now if I spot this thing fluttering around Volunteer park and start chasing it around calling out “Bird! Come here Bird!! …BIRRRRD!!!!” then I’m gonna look like a fucking crazy person.

passed out…

April 2, 2011

get your sharpie markers out kids. its happened again! too much fun for this one…

cheers to friday nights!

I’m a Pizza Fool

April 2, 2011

From the minute I walked in the doors at QFC to grab some cups & ice for my April Fools party I heard everyone talking about free pizza. Seriously? EVERYONE! Customers to employees, employees to customers. Was I just really, really stoned? I asked my cashier “YO! WHERE DA PIZZA AT, BITCH???” and she told me that a new pizza joint, MOD was having a grand opening a few blocks down, giving away FREE personalized size pizzas to everyone.


So I walked my ass down to this place thinking in my head “Is this an April fools joke? Am I totally gonna feel embarrassed after this?” So Obvi the only thing to do was to fuckin’ google that shit!
And dude, it was totes true. Fuck yeah!! Walking in, mouth watering, so excited for pizza…a stoner’s wet dream. I’m a firm believer that NOTHING tastes better than FREE.

This is where the story gets real sad. They stopped serving free pizza at 9:00pm. It was FUCKING 9:02pm. I overheard a bunch of U-DUB frat boys bragging about getting the last of the free pizza. I was heartbroken but I decided I had gone too far and would pay for a slice anyhow.

MOD kicked me while I was down. No slices. I wasn’t committed to a $6.50 mini pie, and the greeter employees tried to heckle me on my way out saying that I’d pay too much for slices at Pagliacci’s. Walking home defeated in the rain I thought “FUCK THAT! IM GOING TO PAG’S FOR PIZZA!”

Just walking in I felt at home. I immediately felt like I cheated on the one I loved. How could I run to the cheap new whore on the block? Pag’s has been so good to me for years. Gretta, my favorite employee @ the BWay local (who has made every visit in the past few months so much more fun) was there to give me my desired slizzice. It was cozy, it was delish, and it was only 4 bones for two slices. That’s okay with me!

So I can’t say if MOD pizza is good or bad. I can say that I like what I like and I like pagliacci’s. I’ve made up my mind and I will forever stand by my special P-A-G.

I, Barfly 3.30

March 30, 2011

This week the ladies dominated my barfly interest. Who are these beautiful vixens doing karaoke on a random nothings-going-on kinda night? Lets find out…

Alisha, 33 / Capitol Hill
Drink: vodka and diet coke “but it has to be monopolowa because it’s gotta be classy & trashy.”
Bar: redwood

Brynne, 30 / Capitol Hill
Drink: st germaine
Bar: the bar

Amber, 22 / Capitol Hill
Drink: whiskey (bushmills please) on the rocks
Bar: captain blacks

I met the last barfly while debating the location of my old apartment. Was it on capitol hill? Or technically was it first hill? It’s a close call. But Amber chimed in with this little gem: “When you fell like you’re gonna be raped or stabbed, you’re on first hill.” Gotta love a beautiful lady with a sense of humor! Thanks girls!

Mobile Monday 3.28

March 29, 2011

Wait, its tuesday? Oh well. Fashionably late as always…

Jimi got a fancy gold headband this weekend!


AH SHIT!! Now where am I going to buy my black JNCO jeans & manic panic semi-permanent vampire red hair dye???

People really still use “the club?” Really???

spring has sprung!

Spring Breakin!

March 29, 2011

I’m pretty convinced this is the BESTEST outfit ever worn…

Lydia dancing @ Neumos

Just look at her mother fuckin fanny pack!

12th & pine 3.28.11

March 29, 2011

walking to the liquor store on 12th, I heard cheerleaders chanting for my arrival. “VOD-KA!!! VOD-KAAA!!! VOD-KA!!!”

But no. I arrived to cheers and jeers bouncing back & forth, back & forth, back & forth. a ping pong ball in my head of SPD supporters & SPD haters on opposing corners yelling chants. the whole experience made me need a drink even more than before I left on my merry little way for some booze.

two photos of the scene:

why, oh why, so much drama on this corner of B way?  (Exhibit A: kids in black act cray cray. Exhibit B: week later kids in black act cray cray but don’t realize how redundant they are.)

tonight shit went down at charlie’s. GAZILLIONS of cop cars shut down traffic. CHS used their go-go-gadget skills to investigate, alluding to… some sort of po-po/civi rumble?

here are some subpar mobile uploads from my celly, because yes, the world is my text message!