it’s embarrassing to admit, but i’ll do it anyways:  i forget how talented some of the friends/people/strangers we live amongst truly are. i forget that the same people waiting for their latte behind me at Stumptown or gettin’ their Tecates pulled at last call are also creating so passionately, so solidly, very impressive art in any form. i hate that i forget this. slap me!

what jogged my memory this time is The Stranger sponsored local fashion show Worn Out happening tonight. most of these (young) insanely talented designers are hill faces you see everyday. they balance bomb fashion ideas with living day to day on the hill just like all of us but, perhaps most remarkable to me, THEY KNOW HOW TO SEW. i seriously can’t even fix a button. ugh.

i was asked to help out two friends featured in the show and i’m just hoping I don’t fall on my fucking face and ruin everything. because that’s what i do. (sorry chris jones and ramona barnes in advance-you guys are too cool to be friends with me). ALAS, i am very, very excited for the both of them.

the show is sold out, so you can’t go, but check out what these badasses are up to when they’re not out just like the rest of us. you can always stand outside the ACT theater and show your boobs for some tickets? maybe?

cheers designers. looks like it’s going to be a good one.



just sayin’

April 5, 2011

APRIL shitshows bring MAnY reflections.


March 18, 2011

why have holidays, like the one we are in enduring at this moment, have to be so gut-wrenchingly gross.

i wanted to have one beer after work before i walked home but “Tyler from Kirkland” won’t let the fact that i don’t have any green on slide. AT ALL. get out of my face asshole. drink the jameson you ordered, even though you complained you hate whiskey, and get shitfaced.

i don’t want to hate march 17th. but i do. i really do.

a worthy birthday…

March 1, 2011

this is a birthday party good enough to get outta bed for.

but, lemme just say…

i hate people’s birthdays. why? ’cause they’re stupid. and the “parties” that go with them these days are even stupider.

no one sends out pink sparkly invites asking for an RSVP. there aren’t any Little Mermaid cakes and there is definitely no mint chocolate chip ice cream. i made people dress up as the cast from Grease THREE different times throughout the course of my childhood. don’t even get me started on wrapping presents, or if your mom was a lazy, uncreative bitch she’d buy a $20 contempo casuals gift ceretificate. last thought….goodie bags?! ugh.

today, we’re lucky if we get an enthusiastic (if that’s even possible) facebook invite where commitment means clicking the accept button. and then it just becomes a few friends that show up/happen to be in the same place buying well shots and getting shitfaced because YOU’RE getting older. slash it was wednesday.

but the birthday party you should go to is at the Redwood tonight. the bar turns five years old today and this place deserves some serious slum-dog love. granted the last time i was there i was sooo drunk i could barely pay my tab (sorry). that just means the bartenders take their jobs seriously.

you don’t have to bring a tower records gift card and the goodie bags come in the form of drink specials.



via punchyouinthefacebook:

let us pay homage to this little gem. happy birthday redwood. knock ’em dead.

mug shots

February 28, 2011

convicts of the twilight exit

the pizza diet

February 28, 2011

apparently i got shit for genes.

it has officially been claimed that

one employee of Big Mario’s Pizza

has shockingly LOST weight

since the bar’s opening last july.





everyone knows pizza makes you fat. and Big Mario’s is a friggin’ pizza lunch buffet just like the one you ate at the mall on saturday in seventh grade. she is defying science. she must be jesus.

you fucking bitch. ugh.


the x-mas of fall

September 14, 2010

dear kiddos of the hill,

boys in make-up and girls dressing slutty.

two of my favorite things.

i’d say it happens a lot up here but not nearly enough so i’m looking forward to this october.  it’s been way too long since i’ve thrown on a pair of thigh highs, some wings and called it a costume. with fall rounding the bend,  it’s safe to say Halloween is almost here. the summer weather suckfest is over so i think the northwest owes us a fantastic autum. let’s not stand for anything else.

as i sit here outside, the sun shifting to shade, i’m realizing we have a whole 46 days until the 31st. but considering september is probably the most bullshit month of the year i’m gonna go ahead and make an executive decision to fast forward thru it and get to the big OCT.

think like you have only 1 month to come up with whatever costume will be fabulous enough to get you free drinks, laid or if you’re a real cassanova: BOTH.

imagine that.

and there is good news this year: halloween is on a mother fucking sunday!!! which means at least 4 days of playing dress up. thursday, friday, saturday, halloween. cha-ching.

the question of who’ll you be out with is already a given, but where you really wanna be is probably undecided. you have four days to hit up the usual haunts, which on a weekend can really be hell. ( eww, i can’t believe i did that).

here is a little reminder about a Halloween kick-off party not be something to be missed….

Captothehill and the same kids that brought you last years Havana Halloween parking lot party, Neumo’s Sing Sing XXXmas and July’s Beach Ball Party will be throwing yet another installment for your drinking pleasure.

The details are coming, but the date is Thursday October 28th.

there might be blood. there will be beer. and shots. and sluts.

your next morning will sure to look like this.

Photo by: Tracey Cataldo

until tomorrow,

i miss my dad.

this isn’t him.

happy father’s day cap hill.

i mean, hard to ignore

April 21, 2010

and yes, so late on this. check chs for anything happening up to date….DUH

but, something a little sketchy has been going on in the life of a very important hill individual…

don’t know the truth, just know the gossip-and that’s all i fucking care about.

don’t be a dip shit mcconnell and figure it out ASAP….xoxo.


seriously. WTF. where is it.

it’s time.

shorts, 10pm sunshine, block party, bbqs, beach battles, backyards, booze and bitches.

he’s excited…