Let’s slow dance

May 1, 2011

I’m not even going to try and tell you why you should be going to this. It’s a no brainer. Get dressed up. Get drunk. Slow dance and put your hand down your dates pants. This neighborhood already feels like high school, so why not a promenade?

Here are some deets:

Too punk in high school and never made it to prom? Monday May 2nd at 9pm Linda’s is putting on a prom for those who didn’t get a chance to get drunk and make bad decisions the first time around. DJs Executive Realness and Hank Rock will be playing the slow make out jams alongside the hits all night. We’ll have two photographers to capture your formal attire and intoxicated smiles as well as best-dressed awards!! (Drink Tickets! Sashes!) Cheap punch drink specials and a dance floor will set the mood. Dress to impress and you too can be voted into the prom court! Come live out your teenage fantasies at Linda’s Tavern!


Oh, to be young and single and living on Capitol Hill, where on any given night you can go to one of this neighborhood’s SHIT ton of bars and find it jammed with your fellow sex-craved twenty-somethings, many of them eager to acquire phone numbers in hopes of commencing a brief texting relationship that will probably amount to nothing, save for creepy and bizarre drunk propositioning texts days and weeks after the initial meet.

At some point, this got to me; my phone was filled with too many first names of boys whose faces I couldn’t quite recall.  So, about a month ago, I decided to shake things up by getting an account on okcupid.com, a free online dating site that, in addition to allowing the user to create a fairly thorough profile, provides survey questions that help ‘match’ you with potential mates, as well as instant messaging, photo albums, relationship/personality tests…the works.

NOTE: My one qualm with this site is that there is a section called “Activity” on the homepage that shows WHO has looked at your page and WHEN they last did (imagine if facebook had this…people would be deactivating their accounts in droves for fear that everyone would finally know the extent of their creepy stalker habits).

Thus commenced my foray into the world of online dating.  I set up a profile, snooped around a bit, and kind of waited to see what would happen.  And, after a couple weeks of sifting through my message inbox and deleting lame shit like “How are you?” and “Ur hott” and only responding to people that ACTUALLY ADDRESSED the crap I wrote about myself on my profile, I had managed to arrange and go on three first dates with three very different dudes, at three very different bars.

Here are my reviews of three first date spots:

Date #1 : Dinner @ Broadway Grill – Early evening dinner here could be alright, but this place is fairly empty around 6-7pm on weeknights, which means that there’s gonna have to be a lot of good conversational energy or it ends up being kind of awkward between topics because there’s not a lot going on in the background.  On the plus side, it is near a lot of other shit on Broadway, so one can always flee the scene for a stroll down to Vivace.  But otherwise it’s a bit intense.

VERDICT: Wait until the 3rd or 4th date.  Too much, too fast.

Date #2 : Drinks @ Pony – Hey, I’m gay, and you’re gay, so if we go get a drink at this gay bar, it should be cool, right?  Well, maybe.  Indeed, Pony caters to us homos.  And, let us never ever forget the FUCKING AWESOME firepit and (recently) covered patio.  But, if it’s balls-ass cold outside, the firepit may not cut it.  And inside, the large amounts of cock covering the walls, the ever-classy glory hole in the bathroom, and the lack of seating and loud music make it a more difficult place to have a normal, i’m-not-necessarily-trying-to-fuck-your-brains-out-tonight conversation.

VERDICT: Are you just trying to hook up with someone??  Too gay.

Date #3 : Drinks @ the Living Room – Oh wait, did you forget about the Living Room too?  I did…it’s quite far down Olive Way.  But, if you can make the trek down the Hill, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  Two levels, plenty of seating on both couches and at tables, a smaller bar that still has a good atmosphere and isn’t too crowded yet has enough people to provide interesting energy…need I say more?  If you’re into having a good conversation where both parties can hear what the other is saying, definitely go here.

VERDICT: Yes yes yes.  Great, casual spot to meet up with someone (granted, I’m biased, because my first date here turned into many dates with the same dude who I now have boyfriend status with…wow this okcupid thing actually worked!).

Anyway, if you have patience and you’re open to enduring several mildly- to moderately-lame dates before finding someone substantive, maybe as a winter activity you should give online dating a try.  Go ahead!  Be adventurous!  Have other good first date spot recommendations?

’tis the season

to stick your tounge (or your dick) in someone…

happy early v-day dudes.

go get some.



king of pop

R.I.P. M.J.

so i’m finally getting back to normal after this past weekend’s events. this year’s pride had a strange twinge of sadness to it on account of our king of pop’s death, but that did not stop the deubachery from going on as planned. between shots and beer, and sporadic laments over mj’s death, not to mention his timeless songs blasting from most bars….the weekend ended up being sort of a blur.

this year’s celebration was especially significant being that it was the 40th anniversary of the stonewall riots in greenwhich village, new york. to those who don’t know, it was the first time that gays stood up for their right to party so to speak. imagine: a group of drag queens, overpowering the new york police department! luckily no fighting here on the hill, but here we go with some photo documentation of what did go down.

Read the rest of this entry »

giddy up…pony is back!

March 30, 2009

slip on those assless chaps and saddle up my friends…the rumor has become reality. as our faithful accomplice cole so diligently reported (before the stranger or chs) fuck-tab-ulous bar PONY is coming back for reals. 


the original post began as mere gossip with potential but the rumors have been confirmed! 



the weird triangular flower shop inbetween 12th and 13th on madison is on the way out and the goodness is moving in. the application for the liquor license has been filed by a new owner. does this mean we won’t be seeing the same wild stallions we did on pine? fucking christ, this could be great.



and just because i can…

December 25, 2008

i’m going to. 

it makes me feel giddy and dumb. and i like that. 

now crank this shit – no ones watching!

c’mon….it never, EVER gets old.


if i can help it, i avoid becoming a real fan of any band with male members under the age of 18.

call it a personal rule, but with my track record of musician obsessions i feel it helps keep my conquests (real and imaginary) legal. but lucky for me the boys, and i’m talking friday night dance in the cafeteria boys, of new faces are just about to take their first step over the non-statichtory line. su-weet.

new faces is no secret. the boys have been cranking out tunes solid enough to trick you into thinking they’d been closing down the old cha cha for awhile now. hell, their sound is seasoned enough to convince you they closed down whatever the fuck came before it!

the only hint that new faces isn’t allowed to stay at the venue once their set is finished comes with the ever so slight apprehension in nico’s dynamite voice. he does the kind of vocals that make you ask yourself “is he talking or is he singing?” makes listening more fun. whatever he’s doing with his surprisingly low, consistent voice, it’s working.

with a passionate strokes infatuation in my past, i was wary to dive into the world of new faces. they have been compared to them too many times, but i suppose it’s fitting. new faces is the less glamorous version of julian casablanca and the gang but that’s maybe because there permit photos weren’t taken for rolling stone.

i trust new faces though. they’re gonna be a big deal, and not just in seattle. i’m already drawing hearts on my mirror in lipstick around drummer conor’s name, so they better age quick.

or i’m in big trouble.

check out the boys here. impressive shit.

you know they’ll be cap hillin’ it circa 2012….

i saw u see me?

June 20, 2008

if you get to know someone well enough you will discover that you both share the same guilty pleasure. lets just admit it. the first section we turn to when we pick up a new issue of the stranger is undeniably the “i saw u” section.

no shame. we all do it. boys, girls and everything in between long to be the attention of someone ballsy enough to announce it via type.

i cannot lie – whenever i read blonde outside caffe vita my heart skips a beat. and in being so devoted to this ambiguous section i am continuing a post because i am almost certain it is for a good friend of mine. it reads as follows:

chase at cha cha

it was really cute how your friend scouted us out for u.

called u but it went to your machine.

drinks/coffee sometime?

when: tuesday, june 10 where: the cha cha you: man me: woman

granted there may be a few chase’s on the hill but if you know my chase, which i am fairly certain you do, you’ll recognize that this is something that might have happened.

if this is your chase let us know and we can complete that missed connection for you….

word up nerd.

i, pumpkin am one thrifty skank.

therefore i really dig being in places that keep my wallet full and ready for happy hour at all times.

photo by intrigue139 at flickr

which is all the reason why i formerly hung around the seattle public library, to bulk up my itunes. granted, you may have to race the elderly and homeless for the good seats, however, today’s session of CD burning has proved positive.

not only did i score 18 new albums, (including 6 new johnny cash albums, cha!) but i also had a moment with a boy!

hot damn, the adorable classical music fan actually smiled. this rare breed mustn’t be alone, which has me officially convinced that meeting a lad at the library would be kinda cute. brings a nice change from bars, those damn beer goggles are dangerous.

need more than a passive aggressive cutie to drag you to the library? on june 24th, the capitol hill branch is hosting a henna event, from 3-4:30 p.m.

as for this girl, i’m off. i gotta go pillage the missed connections and i saw u sections of this passive-aggressive city.

photo: intrigue139 at flickr

Squatters for a night

May 30, 2008

no not pumpkin and i, not that we would be apposed, but two guys “traveling” all the way from florida.

the roomie and i were smoking a cig out of our first floor apartment when we started a conversation with the wanderers who were passing by at the wholesome hour of 2am. they had huge backpacks and strong stubble but were more articulate than either of us. i suppose after a few (many) beers that gives you credibility. they had been on the road “livin’ life” for a few months now and were just seeing where the road takes them.

now, if you have been reading us for while you are aware of pumpkin and i’s affection for anyone who flirts with a christopher mccandless lifestyle.

i felt like i had hit the jackpot: two strapping, young nomads who needed a place for the night. before you presume anything let me say we just wanted to help the brothers out.

so they came on in, slept on our couches, checked their myspaces and hit the road in the morning.

i admit, hindsight is 20/20 so when i woke up and reflected on our quick invitation i realize things could have gone horribly…but alas they did not.

moral of my story :

lets have a little faith in humanity and the people we meet. maybe use a little more cautiousness then we had, but if you let your guard down for a second and you may be surprised.