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I asked my douche bag hipster friends to pick up there phones and text me with their thoughts of the joint. This is what I got:

Hipster D-Bag #1: “Sleek, “New Capitol Hill” look at the base of one of the Hill’s new ‘modern’ apartment buildings full of waiters with fresh pressed summer plaid, cute bought-in-bulk mason jars to fill with hip micro-brews, and a classic bell that goes DING when orders are up. Not a place for your classic Seattle grunge kid, but maybe a place for the emerging predominance of American Apparel hipsters. But restaurants are for the food, which looks awesome”

HDB #1 Enthusiastically took the assignment by the balls. The other two… Not so much.

HDB #2: “Skillet I think is great so far!! Our waiter made a joke and gave me a hot toddy that tastes DELISH! Nom nom can’t wait for foods!”

We get our food. We eat. The food was good but HDB #3 still finds a reason to complain. Because that’s what being a hipster D-bag is all about.

HDB #3: “Food was good. But I’m still hungry.”

I agree. The fucking burger was mini sized and was 13 bones. GTFO.

HDB #2: “Can’t go wrong with biscuits and gravy and they didn’t!!! YUMMM”

The space is pretty filled with pretty people wearing cute plaids and flannel. Its so cute I want to puke.

HDB #3: “Skillet is like the cool hip place to be right now, huh? You got the moe bar staff over there, Dan savage, that one girl from SU. I’m pretty sure I might have seen mad rad in the corner.”

The wait staff is pretty chill I must say. We hung out for awhile long after we closed out & our waiter even topped off our beers. And for that I will go back. Cheers!

Let’s slow dance

May 1, 2011

I’m not even going to try and tell you why you should be going to this. It’s a no brainer. Get dressed up. Get drunk. Slow dance and put your hand down your dates pants. This neighborhood already feels like high school, so why not a promenade?

Here are some deets:

Too punk in high school and never made it to prom? Monday May 2nd at 9pm Linda’s is putting on a prom for those who didn’t get a chance to get drunk and make bad decisions the first time around. DJs Executive Realness and Hank Rock will be playing the slow make out jams alongside the hits all night. We’ll have two photographers to capture your formal attire and intoxicated smiles as well as best-dressed awards!! (Drink Tickets! Sashes!) Cheap punch drink specials and a dance floor will set the mood. Dress to impress and you too can be voted into the prom court! Come live out your teenage fantasies at Linda’s Tavern!

passed out…

April 2, 2011

get your sharpie markers out kids. its happened again! too much fun for this one…

cheers to friday nights!

hipster tsunami

March 15, 2011

A hipster tsunami watch was issued for the general Seattle area this past weekend with Capitol Hill taking the brunt of the damage. The timing of when the initial wave hit ranges from 8:15 p.m. at the opening of Sun Liquor Distillery on pike to about 1:24 a.m. at Pony. Scientists are still working on models to forecast the amount of skinny jeans, PBRs, and bad dance moves involved in this past weekends devastating damage.

Sun Liquor Distillery – 03.12.11





Pony – 03.13.11

a worthy birthday…

March 1, 2011

this is a birthday party good enough to get outta bed for.

but, lemme just say…

i hate people’s birthdays. why? ’cause they’re stupid. and the “parties” that go with them these days are even stupider.

no one sends out pink sparkly invites asking for an RSVP. there aren’t any Little Mermaid cakes and there is definitely no mint chocolate chip ice cream. i made people dress up as the cast from Grease THREE different times throughout the course of my childhood. don’t even get me started on wrapping presents, or if your mom was a lazy, uncreative bitch she’d buy a $20 contempo casuals gift ceretificate. last thought….goodie bags?! ugh.

today, we’re lucky if we get an enthusiastic (if that’s even possible) facebook invite where commitment means clicking the accept button. and then it just becomes a few friends that show up/happen to be in the same place buying well shots and getting shitfaced because YOU’RE getting older. slash it was wednesday.

but the birthday party you should go to is at the Redwood tonight. the bar turns five years old today and this place deserves some serious slum-dog love. granted the last time i was there i was sooo drunk i could barely pay my tab (sorry). that just means the bartenders take their jobs seriously.

you don’t have to bring a tower records gift card and the goodie bags come in the form of drink specials.

YES PLEASE.

 

via punchyouinthefacebook:

let us pay homage to this little gem. happy birthday redwood. knock ’em dead.

I, Barfly 3.1

March 1, 2011

Once again I found myself at pony. I guess I end up here so often because I’m a sucker for strong drinks, photobooths, & outdoor fire pits. Last night I ran into the following four cute barflies:

left to right:
Andrew, 24 / Capitol Hill

Drink: strong beer or straight whiskey
Bar: charlies

Casey, 22 / CD
Drink: corona with lime
Bar: stumbling monk

Vera, 23 / Capitol Hill
Drink: crown & coke
Bar: canterbury (because of shuffleboard)

Brian, 28 / Fat as fuck
Drink: fat girl
Bar: the thick one

(yes, these were brian’s actual answers to the questions)

mug shots

February 28, 2011

convicts of the twilight exit

Thursday nights…

February 16, 2011

now sound promising:

Tons of fucking sequins

February 16, 2011

This is the best picture I took all weekend. Admittedly, I didn’t take many. I was to busy indulging in our favorite vices to care about my camera. But once my eyes fell upon such an amazing creature on the back patio of Pony I had to ask to snap his photo.

You wanna know why this kid is awesome? I will tell you.

1. He is wearing a mother fucking shiny sequin black vest.
2. He’s having a mother fucking good time.
3. When I asked to take his picture he said “wait,” unbuttoned the majority of his shirt and then told me he was ready.

I want to be his friend. Perhaps I should post him a missed connection on the theattle craigs-lisp page.

Do you think he might be the same kid from this video?

I sure do fucking hope so.

case of the mondays

February 8, 2011

we know you probably woke up hung over today after that horrid super bowl sunday, because you had to drink an extra case of pbr after being forced to watch that shit show known as the black eyed peas during half time. unless of course you where smart enough to tune into the puppy bowl instead. in that case, props to you. mondays suck, but whats new?

okay, i know its kind of redundant to complain about seattle weather but uhg, really? today it poured down buckets of rain with thunder and lighting to boot & it also freakin hailed in queen anne. and now more then ever i am day dreaming of summer. but get a load of this. starbucks new huge trenta cup can hold an entire bottle of wine. drinkin on madison beach will never be the same…summer please hurry up.

ok and what the fuck is this? likealittle.com is a social network site of missed connections on crack for horny hipster & jock college students alike. here are some examples from the seattle u’s page:

At Camp 1018: Female, Blonde

I always see you sitting on the edge of the bed from my room in Bell. I’m normally not able to see you but i bought some military grade binoculars just for this. you have your hair up in a bun, blue v-neck sweater and grey sweatpants… and you’re studying math. test tomorrow? good luck!

At Camp 10: Female, Blonde

You’re always hanging out with really cool people, especially that one asian hipster. I’m not as cool as them but I just have to say, i think you’re beautiful.

At C Street: Male, Brunette

When you walked through the cafeteria with your flannel unbuttoned just enough for your chest hair to peek out turned me on. You’re a hot man!

kind of creepy. man, i am so happy i am not in college.