Oh, to be young and single and living on Capitol Hill, where on any given night you can go to one of this neighborhood’s SHIT ton of bars and find it jammed with your fellow sex-craved twenty-somethings, many of them eager to acquire phone numbers in hopes of commencing a brief texting relationship that will probably amount to nothing, save for creepy and bizarre drunk propositioning texts days and weeks after the initial meet.

At some point, this got to me; my phone was filled with too many first names of boys whose faces I couldn’t quite recall.  So, about a month ago, I decided to shake things up by getting an account on okcupid.com, a free online dating site that, in addition to allowing the user to create a fairly thorough profile, provides survey questions that help ‘match’ you with potential mates, as well as instant messaging, photo albums, relationship/personality tests…the works.

NOTE: My one qualm with this site is that there is a section called “Activity” on the homepage that shows WHO has looked at your page and WHEN they last did (imagine if facebook had this…people would be deactivating their accounts in droves for fear that everyone would finally know the extent of their creepy stalker habits).

Thus commenced my foray into the world of online dating.  I set up a profile, snooped around a bit, and kind of waited to see what would happen.  And, after a couple weeks of sifting through my message inbox and deleting lame shit like “How are you?” and “Ur hott” and only responding to people that ACTUALLY ADDRESSED the crap I wrote about myself on my profile, I had managed to arrange and go on three first dates with three very different dudes, at three very different bars.

Here are my reviews of three first date spots:

Date #1 : Dinner @ Broadway Grill – Early evening dinner here could be alright, but this place is fairly empty around 6-7pm on weeknights, which means that there’s gonna have to be a lot of good conversational energy or it ends up being kind of awkward between topics because there’s not a lot going on in the background.  On the plus side, it is near a lot of other shit on Broadway, so one can always flee the scene for a stroll down to Vivace.  But otherwise it’s a bit intense.

VERDICT: Wait until the 3rd or 4th date.  Too much, too fast.

Date #2 : Drinks @ Pony – Hey, I’m gay, and you’re gay, so if we go get a drink at this gay bar, it should be cool, right?  Well, maybe.  Indeed, Pony caters to us homos.  And, let us never ever forget the FUCKING AWESOME firepit and (recently) covered patio.  But, if it’s balls-ass cold outside, the firepit may not cut it.  And inside, the large amounts of cock covering the walls, the ever-classy glory hole in the bathroom, and the lack of seating and loud music make it a more difficult place to have a normal, i’m-not-necessarily-trying-to-fuck-your-brains-out-tonight conversation.

VERDICT: Are you just trying to hook up with someone??  Too gay.

Date #3 : Drinks @ the Living Room – Oh wait, did you forget about the Living Room too?  I did…it’s quite far down Olive Way.  But, if you can make the trek down the Hill, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  Two levels, plenty of seating on both couches and at tables, a smaller bar that still has a good atmosphere and isn’t too crowded yet has enough people to provide interesting energy…need I say more?  If you’re into having a good conversation where both parties can hear what the other is saying, definitely go here.

VERDICT: Yes yes yes.  Great, casual spot to meet up with someone (granted, I’m biased, because my first date here turned into many dates with the same dude who I now have boyfriend status with…wow this okcupid thing actually worked!).

Anyway, if you have patience and you’re open to enduring several mildly- to moderately-lame dates before finding someone substantive, maybe as a winter activity you should give online dating a try.  Go ahead!  Be adventurous!  Have other good first date spot recommendations?


Tons of fucking sequins

February 16, 2011

This is the best picture I took all weekend. Admittedly, I didn’t take many. I was to busy indulging in our favorite vices to care about my camera. But once my eyes fell upon such an amazing creature on the back patio of Pony I had to ask to snap his photo.

You wanna know why this kid is awesome? I will tell you.

1. He is wearing a mother fucking shiny sequin black vest.
2. He’s having a mother fucking good time.
3. When I asked to take his picture he said “wait,” unbuttoned the majority of his shirt and then told me he was ready.

I want to be his friend. Perhaps I should post him a missed connection on the theattle craigs-lisp page.

Do you think he might be the same kid from this video?

I sure do fucking hope so.

thank you all for coming

January 29, 2011

hot hot hot messes

June 29, 2010

whoa what a mess of a post that last one was! note to self: do not drink and blog. the house of hands tranny party was cray cray! check it out!

hey tranny!

June 15, 2010

this is going to be THE pride weekend party to attend. the kids behind house of hands who brought you last years halloween lot party, and this years zodiac parties are at it again and back in the havana lot! with inside djs, outside music & performances, 4 bars, photo booths & hairstyling, and a shit ton of trannys it sure to be a hot drunken mess of a party. take a look at all this entertainment ready to blow your eardrums out:

CJ and The Dolls (Portland), Cjandthedolls.com

And performances by:
Your Queen of Filth: Jackie HELL!
Your Sultry Dream: Ade!
Crisco Dick: Ben DeLacreme!
Teen Dream: Stella Rose!

Featuring Outside DJ’s:
DJ Res (Los Angeles, Cherry, Lick, Confessions, No Big Deal)
DJ Gameboy (Seattle, Shapes + Colours)

AND!! Your Inside Drag DJ’s!!:
Anita $nak (This Bitch)
Amoania (That Bitch)
Modee Trajadee (What A BITCH!!)

whoa, that’s a lot of djs, drag queens, and trannys. house of hands sure knows how to throw one hell of a party and this shits gonna top it all. so get out saturday the 28th and these kids will make sure your stumbling hungover (and still a little drunk) to the parade the next day.

go here to rsvp and learn how to buy tickets.

lost & found

April 28, 2010

after a few drinks, a hot dog, and some steamy photos with the hot dog stand guy you left your disposable camera in a taxi cab. but don’t worry girl, i found it, took it to pony and finished the roll of film for you!

i love you hot dog girl. thanks for the left over film. write us an email cos we would love to hear from you! now on to pony:

lookin good kids.

tonight: fringe

January 8, 2010

there’s a new weekly you should know about if you don’t already. picking up from where hardtimes left off: fringe has taken up residency at the seattle eagle every friday night. artists, queers, hipsters, drag queens, go-go dancers all unite under one bar roof every week with a different theme. the fringe nights can feel like a scene right out of the movie party monster… minus macaulay culkin unfortunately. so far the themes have been anywhere from a cute candy night to a morbid medical theme. and now fringe takes on the years you probably would like to forget with a puberty party! ahh, the good old days of squeeky voices, pimples, and first periods. it’s gonna be a good night so dust off your old girl talk board game and slap on some of those zit stickers and lets get awkward on the dance floor. fringe will even be having a yearbook glamour shot photo sesh. count me in. and if i’m lucky they will play my new guilty pleasure tik tok. yea… i just admitted that.

see you there. xo.