Lost bird?

April 4, 2011

Can someone please explain this to me?


So I don’t know shit about domesticated birds, but wouldn’t this thing just fly the fuck away? And If I’m gonna be chasing this little shit head around I think I deserve more then just 75 bucks. Come on, what if I gotta climb a tree, roof, or where the fuck ever birds hang out?

The sign informs us that the birds name is “Bird.” REALLY? You couldn’t come up with a better fucking name then Bird? Now if I spot this thing fluttering around Volunteer park and start chasing it around calling out “Bird! Come here Bird!! …BIRRRRD!!!!” then I’m gonna look like a fucking crazy person.


why, oh why, so much drama on this corner of B way?  (Exhibit A: kids in black act cray cray. Exhibit B: week later kids in black act cray cray but don’t realize how redundant they are.)

tonight shit went down at charlie’s. GAZILLIONS of cop cars shut down traffic. CHS used their go-go-gadget skills to investigate, alluding to… some sort of po-po/civi rumble?

here are some subpar mobile uploads from my celly, because yes, the world is my text message!

Oh, to be young and single and living on Capitol Hill, where on any given night you can go to one of this neighborhood’s SHIT ton of bars and find it jammed with your fellow sex-craved twenty-somethings, many of them eager to acquire phone numbers in hopes of commencing a brief texting relationship that will probably amount to nothing, save for creepy and bizarre drunk propositioning texts days and weeks after the initial meet.

At some point, this got to me; my phone was filled with too many first names of boys whose faces I couldn’t quite recall.  So, about a month ago, I decided to shake things up by getting an account on okcupid.com, a free online dating site that, in addition to allowing the user to create a fairly thorough profile, provides survey questions that help ‘match’ you with potential mates, as well as instant messaging, photo albums, relationship/personality tests…the works.

NOTE: My one qualm with this site is that there is a section called “Activity” on the homepage that shows WHO has looked at your page and WHEN they last did (imagine if facebook had this…people would be deactivating their accounts in droves for fear that everyone would finally know the extent of their creepy stalker habits).

Thus commenced my foray into the world of online dating.  I set up a profile, snooped around a bit, and kind of waited to see what would happen.  And, after a couple weeks of sifting through my message inbox and deleting lame shit like “How are you?” and “Ur hott” and only responding to people that ACTUALLY ADDRESSED the crap I wrote about myself on my profile, I had managed to arrange and go on three first dates with three very different dudes, at three very different bars.

Here are my reviews of three first date spots:

Date #1 : Dinner @ Broadway Grill – Early evening dinner here could be alright, but this place is fairly empty around 6-7pm on weeknights, which means that there’s gonna have to be a lot of good conversational energy or it ends up being kind of awkward between topics because there’s not a lot going on in the background.  On the plus side, it is near a lot of other shit on Broadway, so one can always flee the scene for a stroll down to Vivace.  But otherwise it’s a bit intense.

VERDICT: Wait until the 3rd or 4th date.  Too much, too fast.

Date #2 : Drinks @ Pony – Hey, I’m gay, and you’re gay, so if we go get a drink at this gay bar, it should be cool, right?  Well, maybe.  Indeed, Pony caters to us homos.  And, let us never ever forget the FUCKING AWESOME firepit and (recently) covered patio.  But, if it’s balls-ass cold outside, the firepit may not cut it.  And inside, the large amounts of cock covering the walls, the ever-classy glory hole in the bathroom, and the lack of seating and loud music make it a more difficult place to have a normal, i’m-not-necessarily-trying-to-fuck-your-brains-out-tonight conversation.

VERDICT: Are you just trying to hook up with someone??  Too gay.

Date #3 : Drinks @ the Living Room – Oh wait, did you forget about the Living Room too?  I did…it’s quite far down Olive Way.  But, if you can make the trek down the Hill, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  Two levels, plenty of seating on both couches and at tables, a smaller bar that still has a good atmosphere and isn’t too crowded yet has enough people to provide interesting energy…need I say more?  If you’re into having a good conversation where both parties can hear what the other is saying, definitely go here.

VERDICT: Yes yes yes.  Great, casual spot to meet up with someone (granted, I’m biased, because my first date here turned into many dates with the same dude who I now have boyfriend status with…wow this okcupid thing actually worked!).

Anyway, if you have patience and you’re open to enduring several mildly- to moderately-lame dates before finding someone substantive, maybe as a winter activity you should give online dating a try.  Go ahead!  Be adventurous!  Have other good first date spot recommendations?

overheard at vita

February 23, 2011

I never really sit downstairs at Vita, as it’s rather loud. But tonight seemed like a perfect night to try it out & watch bundled up Seattlites traipse around in the new snowfall. Upstairs they hunch over their laptops & books; downstairs they chatter. Perfect for one of my favorite guilty pasttimes, overhearing snippets of random conversations, largely without context.

Here are my findings: Whoa! Quite a lot of Capitol Hill have traveled abroad. Or at least, prefers that to be the focal point of their coffee date conversations.

true story: i just found this lone fortune by the window ledge. any one of these travelers could have left it!


So here’s some gems from the loudest speakers of a day’s worth of tables, the voices which carry even above the clank & clatter of the espresso machines.

On not being able to name the country of origin of his African heritage: “People have such a narrow view of what ‘African’ is.”

• “I saw Cat Power standing up one time & it was awful. Just standing up.”

• “Well, they’re going to throw a party for us. They’re going to have to. They have to. They will.”

• “Well, you have a week to make your presence known.”

• “I tell them to stop arguing always, but it’s totally futile. He’s always going to keep spreading stupid around.”

• On Oprah: “& she’s definitely beefy… not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it just keeps getting worse, her hair, her clothing. It’s like her people are running around like ‘I don’t know what to do with her! I don’t know! Just wrap her in cotton!'”

• “Making eyes is my favorite thing to do.”

• About man’s large duffel: “Do you have goodies in there?? Is there a unicorn & pie in there?”

• “You didn’t tell me Kesha was playing Key Arena last night. Nobody told me!”

“I want to buy her album. But I have all the songs already.”

• “I’ve been here now for 3 months & I keep thinking, now I can hop on a bus, & go there, or there. Or Germany.”

• An SU student’s ramblings regarding a recent trip:

“Then the bitch drove us out to the desert.”

“This African safari dude got us some…I don’t know what it was, but damn. ‘Hi, my name is Ali.’ That’s all the English he could say.”

“All I knew of Africa was like, Casablanca & Aladdin.”

• “She filled me in on the secret: girls like being liked!”

• “We stayed in Istanbul for five days, & every day ordered progressively more food. On the last day, the dude was like, ‘Where you from?’ We were like, ‘Dude, we’re from California!’ So he was like ‘Don’t you have mussels there?’ & we were like ‘Yeah, in Venice Beach!’”

• “In Granada, they have really really cheap beer and tapas.”

“What’s that?”

“Tapas is any dish you eat in the daytime.”

• “At one point I felt I knew more gay guys than I did girls. Goddamnit!”

• “I was twenty one for three months, maybe, if that.”

• “Nice, how long have you guys been together?”

“Three months, today!”

“Then what the hell are you doing here with me?”

I’ve been here far too long, consumed far too much coffee. No one’s safe from these ears on Capitol Hill! (Except perhaps those who speak at a reasonable level.) Goodnight! Tonight let’s get all buried in this inch or two of snow.

Thursday nights…

February 16, 2011

now sound promising:

do you foursquare?

May 25, 2010

you probably already know what foursquare is. you’re probably the mayor of your favorite bar and check in with every cup of joe you gulp down. if you don’t know what this mayor talk is let me fill you in. foursquare is a smart phone service for letting your friends know where you are and figuring out where they are. once you start using it you start collecting points, prize badges, and even deals at certain foursquare partnered businesses (more on this later.)

now you’re probably one of two people. the first being the avid user who gets hooked after the first check in. you have the ‘super mayor’ badge proving that you hold down ten different mayorships, and you land on the top of the leader board every week for users in seattle. or you might be the total opposite who thinks its pointless, annoying, and are sketched out by the idea of everyone knowing where you are at all times. what do you guys think, do you love it or hate it?

so back to the 4s freebies. many businesses are teaming up with the location based social networking site to offer perks for users who check in or become mayor of their establishment. here are a few places here on the hill (or near by) that we found who will hook y’all up:

@ the living room: 20% off your drink with every check in on foursquare.
@ moe bar: show the bartender you’ve checked in to moe bar on foursquare, and your first drink is happy hour priced!
@ 15th ave coffee & tea: show us that you’ve checked in with foursquare and get $1 macchiatos before 4pm and $2 off beer and wine after 4pm. the mayor gets a free pastry!
@ twilight exit: get half off your first order of an appetizer when you become mayor!
@ starbucks – capitol hill: as mayor of this store, enjoy $1 off a new however-you-want-it frappuccino blended beverage. any size, any flavor.

do you guys know of any other cap hill spots offering special foursquare offers? let us know in the comments!

tonight i stumbled upon an interesting and well… unique blog all about great seattle bathrooms. i don’t know why you would but if you desired videos of the strobe light blinking pony watering closet or pictures of the toilets at the chapel then you can find it all there. the blog talks about decor, lighting, audio, and graffiti of seattle restrooms. sure, the hill does have some cool restrooms from the bus stops graffitied walls to the language lesson tapes playing at coastal kitchen. in the blogs last post they talked about the idea of wanting to immortalize bathrooms of 500 pine bars, something we did last year with your graffiti help. and speaking of graffiti we have been known to pop up in a bathroom or two around the hill.

stalls tend to have all sorts of interesting things written in them. usually phone numbers, crude messages, and scribbles including some variation of “for a good time…” but occasionally you’ll find poetry or some awesome art. bathroom wall graffiti is as common as spotting a hipster walking down pike street. you can find a whole blog all about writting on bathroom stalls. so when is tagging a bathroom wall acceptable, if ever? does the subject matter of the writing / art in question affect that? what do you guys think?

eat your balls earlier.

March 10, 2010

well, it’s about gosh darn time a place opens that lets me get my buzz on pre happy hour besides the oh-so-fancy bimbo’s….a girl can only eat so many sub-par burritos (xoxo).

 we gots ourselves another little gem to serve us lunch, or something like it, with our morning beers.

unicorn, the bar we have so sinfully neglected to mention, is now open starting at noon for corn dogs, booze and the whole shabang. fucking sweet.

thats one less block i have to struggle down to find some grub. and i’m into that. 

as if you haven’t heard, unicorn is the most rad, most colorful and the most blackout inducing bar i’ve been to in a long time. everyone has their own, very specific opinion about unicorn but lemme tell ya: this place is special. and if you can’t get on the unicorn band wagon then change your mind cause it means you’re dumb as fuck. 

back to food. i dream about the steak and eggs. sure the dogs are bomb but if you can only handle so many deep friend weiners, or weiners in general, do the steak. i’m serious. addiction in full effect.  

so tomorrow, when you roll outta bed around 12:45 and need… 

a) something a little bubbly to getcha going 

b) nourishment in any form

venture to unicorn. they got a whole new slew of daytimers for you to gawk at…as if the ladies of night weren’t enough. pssssh. 

(totally necessary)

capitol hill is already giving us a reason to rejoice the new year. sound transit took down that bufugly light installation for the someday light rail station today.

with all due respect to the artist, dan corson, that sore-eyed sight will not be something i’ll miss. frankly, i never understood what it was there for and frequently referenced it as an ‘urban christmas tree lot’ to my friends. i can confess that it was mildly attractive at night; however, in the daylight it looked absolutely horrendous.

i’m wondering what’s next for that hot spot – more ugly art? barren nothingness for the next six years?  i bet mom will know.

coffee lingo: tall vs 12 oz

December 15, 2009

3058452639_d1a6d9e6a2most u.s. cities pat themselves on the back if they know basic espresso ordering terminology; however, seattle isn’t most u.s. cities. here, baby’s first word may as well be americano.

just as seattle stands out, capitol hill separates itself from the pack of other emerald city neighborhoods.

buzzin with some deeelectable independent coawfee shauwps, one thing is for certain…you’d best know what the fuck you’re ordering. and let’s face it, if you’re not from around these parts then you’ve had to eventually command and conquer the coffee ordering confusion.

that forever long line will eventually result with you in the front and nervous as hell because you don’t know the fucking difference between a tall or a 12 oz. and not to play goldilocks…but an 8 oz isn’t enough and a 16 oz will leave you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed into the wee hours.

i’ve seen those snide glares and corrective statements you barista/os strike down novices with.

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