a worthy birthday…

March 1, 2011

this is a birthday party good enough to get outta bed for.

but, lemme just say…

i hate people’s birthdays. why? ’cause they’re stupid. and the “parties” that go with them these days are even stupider.

no one sends out pink sparkly invites asking for an RSVP. there aren’t any Little Mermaid cakes and there is definitely no mint chocolate chip ice cream. i made people dress up as the cast from Grease THREE different times throughout the course of my childhood. don’t even get me started on wrapping presents, or if your mom was a lazy, uncreative bitch she’d buy a $20 contempo casuals gift ceretificate. last thought….goodie bags?! ugh.

today, we’re lucky if we get an enthusiastic (if that’s even possible) facebook invite where commitment means clicking the accept button. and then it just becomes a few friends that show up/happen to be in the same place buying well shots and getting shitfaced because YOU’RE getting older. slash it was wednesday.

but the birthday party you should go to is at the Redwood tonight. the bar turns five years old today and this place deserves some serious slum-dog love. granted the last time i was there i was sooo drunk i could barely pay my tab (sorry). that just means the bartenders take their jobs seriously.

you don’t have to bring a tower records gift card and the goodie bags come in the form of drink specials.



via punchyouinthefacebook:

let us pay homage to this little gem. happy birthday redwood. knock ’em dead.


the pizza diet

February 28, 2011

apparently i got shit for genes.

it has officially been claimed that

one employee of Big Mario’s Pizza

has shockingly LOST weight

since the bar’s opening last july.





everyone knows pizza makes you fat. and Big Mario’s is a friggin’ pizza lunch buffet just like the one you ate at the mall on saturday in seventh grade. she is defying science. she must be jesus.

you fucking bitch. ugh.


thank you all for coming

January 29, 2011

Blogging from the bar

July 22, 2010

Speaking of big marios, I’m here playing scrabble, drinking a beer and occasinaly shooting the root! If you come here you should order one, it’s delicious. Don’t worry about what it is, Melissa will have you covered. And check out their collection of board games you can ask to play. Anyhow this is just a test post for my mobile blogging app. If it all works out plan on getting hella live pictures and uploads from block party this weekend. See you in the streets.

moe bar’s new faces

April 28, 2010

wednesday nights at moe bar just got a little more interesting. this month the bar is trying something new and bringing in guest bartenders to help deal with all you drunk kids. what could be more fun then watching capitol hill regulars running around serving up your drinks? last week the strangers kelly-o and hillebrity anna taylor took over the bar for the night. just take a look at this hard working girl:

yea, i wouldn’t know how to use one of those juice guns either.

this week matt hickey and our very own cupcake will be your guest bartenders! so head down to moe bar tonight and give them shit.  do you think matt hickey will be googling drink reciepes on his beloved ipad from behind the bar? i know i’ll be making up fake drinks to confuse them.

see you there!


June 15, 2009

congrats to ade and julia!

may all your domestic partnership/tax break dreams come true


thanks for the pics, doug

neumos turns 5!

June 4, 2009


so, if your a guy like me there’s always a night that ends up a little crazier than expected, which may or may not result in leaving your card open come stumble home time.

let’s pretend you’re exactly like me: you walk into that same bar the following night, after work, expecting to take care of business and then mosey on home.

(remember, you’re still me) you get convinced to sit down and have one drink… which ends up being 5..or 11…shots don’t really count as drinks, right?

but this story isn’t my unquenchable thirst for hard cider, it is about neumo’s free (!) 5 year anniversary party.

the dirt: walk into moe bar(soon) order a drink and ask for a ticket to the anniversary party. you’ll be hooked up with a free concert ticket to see the helio sequence on june 18th for the neumo’s birthday bash. it’s that easy. everyone loves stuff for free, but just don’t forget to leave your moe bar hottie bartender a good tip.


a valentiney grafitti…friday

February 13, 2009

while our beloved slaw takes a blogging vacay, i have thus far neglected to fulfill my grafitti duties.

with his natural eye, i can only channel my inner-guest blogger and imagine he’d wanna do somethin all lovey dovey since world’s lamest holiday is a hop, skip and a jump away.

behold you fucks, tis pumpkin’s antithetic valentine’s day grafitti:






❤ pumpkin

bring your bartender soup

December 16, 2008

it’s c-c-cold
and i’m sure he/she will appreciate it


and probably get you drunk on a dime

well folks, the legacy of hillebrities continues.

our frequent watering holes around capitol hill has wrought a whole new spectrum of networking.

it comes as little surprise when the chap you rub elbows with at happy hour says he’s in a band. after all, everyone and their gawddamn mom is in a band up here. however, it’s come to our attention that the following lads are slightly more together than your given garage band:

thomas wright, aka the meanest margarita-makin bartender at cha cha is also a guitarist for the grand archives. alongside thomas, drums curtis hall, aka dj curtis from hotel motel at havana.

do note: last post’s hillebrity, sera cahoone is one of the grand archives top friends. this is becoming increasingly smaller and smaller…

a bud tipped me off that a former guitarist for band of horses, who I’m assuming is chris early, pours next to thomas at cha cha.

the cha cha fella (chris early?) mentioned above is pictured as the bassist on the far right.

don’t yell at me if i’m wrong. my band of horses knowledge pre 2007 is hazy. if you know…feel free to help a clueless gal out.